"What are you running away from?"
How to respond to people who mock your athletic dreams
Why so negative?
It doesn’t bother me anymore but it’s still something I notice all the time. Whenever I, or one of the athletes I coach, mention to a friend, colleague, or family member they are training for an athletic competition, the reaction is automatically negative.
Here’s a few I’ve gathered from my conversations over the past few years when someone hears myself or another athlete is training for an ultramarathon or Ironman triathlon:
“You must hate your self to sign up for something like that”
“The only way I’d run that far is away from a bear”
“You must be getting paid, otherwise that’s such a waste”
“Therapy getting too expensive for you huh?”
You hear different versions of these but it’s always the same. A negative projection of that person’s weakness and self-doubt onto your dreams and aspirations.
Oftentimes, this negative social pressure is enough to stop a person from signing up for a competition in the first place. The external affirmation matters more than the internal desire. Most can’t find the words to express the deep feeling pulling them towards athletic competition so instead they put down the dreams, and go back to a life of settling.
If that’s you, I want to give you some ammo to fight back and find confidence inside yourself to dust off the haters and go for what you desire.
And if you are in the process of training and competing, I want to embolden you to clap back at the critics who yell from the cheap seats but wouldn’t DARE get down into the arena to prove themselves.
Your Permission Slip
Adults have a toxic relationship with sports. I’ve talked extensively about the importance of play and why it needs to be creative instead of consumptive for it to have any meaning on this episode of my Athletic Philosopher Podcast.
Here’s how I want you to see your training and how it forms a core part of your authentic identity: Be an artist and a craftsman with your sport
Society celebrates the adult who engages in a creative hobby. Taking up an instrument, learning how to paint, becoming skilled in woodworking, and other activities like them don’t meet the same negative reaction as adults seriously practicing sports.
If you see yourself as an aritst or craftsman who uses their body as the creative canvas, you neutralize the negative reactions immediately.
The person who looks at you funny doesn’t get it, they don’t need to. You know deep inside what matters, your passion and desire to get better and prove yourself.
The will to acquire skill, improve performance, celebrate race days, are simply you, not just something you do. That knowledge of self makes it easy to laugh off the negative reactions. You have an assuredness that it’s easily toppled by snide remarks and cheap jokes at your expense. They roll off your back.
It’s the ammo you need to counter the blank stares.
“What if I was learning to play the guitar? Would that be a waste of time?”
“Sports are how I express myself creatively. Don’t I deserve a hobby to push myself in?”
Eventually you’ll find the confidence to respond in other ways.
Here’s two of my faves a few of my teammates shared the other day in our Team group chat:
“No, I’m not doing it because I hate myself, it’s because I love myself.”
“I’m not running away from anything, I’m running towards a better version of myself”
What’s impressive about these retorts it how FAST the athletes clapped back at the critics. That only happens when you’ve internalized how important sports and training are to living your authentic self and aiming at your full potential.
And here’s the kicker, that confidence you show in yourself is properly directed back at the person who’s questioning you. It becomes a mirror for their projection onto you, meaning they see their own reflection back instead of them bringing you down to their level.
Now it’s not “why are you doing it” and it becomes “why aren’t I going after my dreams and desires like that?”
When the truth comes through your heart it’s undeniable. A craftsman or an artist needs passion first and foremost in order to create beautiful pieces. Project that about why you train and you’ll be impenetrable to the noise.
It’s not an easy process, but it’s crucial. If you struggle to support that little voice inside you who yearns for athletic challenge and training, I hope you’ve got the push you need to go for it. If you want to chat about your specific situation, hit that DM button below and let’s talk.
Happy training you beautiful people!