Lessons from being the slow poke on the trails
How to use external comparisons to push yourself to be better
The 2nd time I went trail running I got passed by two runners in their 40s
I was 27 I considered myself a good runner but I'll never forget how being blasted on that trail made me feel. After 10 years of trail running I've never been passed since.
It's not the speed that matters but the way I FEEL when running, let me explain.
I grew up running cross country and playing elite level soccer. I could run far and fast. Even after years of not being in the sport I could easily run a 10km without much physical effort. But that hubris was tested the moment I got out on the trails.
The first time I ever went trail running I could only go about 2km before having to stop. My lungs burned and my entire body ached. It was the hardest running I'd ever done I was hooked instantly.
You’re the slowpoke now
The next time I went out I got passed. I remember it like yesterday. It was on an open stretch in between a series of forest trails. I heard both runners come up behind me and and moved off to the side of the trail to let them pass.
Two thoughts immediately went through my mind:
1. I hate being passed, I have to hold them off
2. I'm not fast enough, even if I wanted to I couldn't keep up with them
he first thought was the old me, the second thought was the reality of me in that present moment. I was angry at being passed but not at the other runners for being faster. I was angry at myself that I knew I wasn't physically able to catch them or keep up with them.
Eat your Humble Pie
It was one of the most humbling momments of my life. It's not the passing part that bothered me the more I thought about it. It was the fact I let myself physically deteriorate to the point that I had no choice but to be passed.
It was a feeling of helplessness at moment when I wanted to feel like a conqueror. That's what troubled me most. I made an oath to myself that day, that I didn't want to end up in another situatiuon where I wasn't physically capable of rising to an emergent challenge on the trails. One that I didn't anticipate but materialized in real time.
I used this motivation to push farther and faster. I raced against those ghosts in my mind. Nevermind that fact that it's a rare moment on the trails where you see another runner in the first place, let alone someone starting around a similar time moving in the same direction. The probablity of being passed at all is so low, but it motivated me nonethless.
Takeaway: Your perspective of the results matter more than the results
The lesson for you take is simple. External comparison only matters if it helps you elevate your own performance for yourself.
I remember those runners not so I can see them again on trail and dust them for revenge. I remember them because of the helplessness I felt at being about to chase them and how I don't want that feeling to come back when I'm on the trails. This is how you properly use feedback from competition and incorporate it into a healthy progression in your sport.
The compteition matters because you see where you stack up. But the competition doesn't define who you are and what you're worth. It's the lessons coming out of the competition the matter the most. Don't be afraid of putting yourself out there for the results. But don't let the results define who you are. It's the progression that matters.