Coaching as Dad
How I'm aiming my daughter for her 1st race
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Her very first race
It’s RACE week in our house, but not for the most experienced race in the family.
On Friday night, our daughter Lillian, aged 7, we take on the challenge of her very first organized race. While scrolling through various programs our kids can explore in the fall, my wife noticed our local parks department holding a Kid’s duathlon at our local park.
A duathlon is a bike and running race. Listen to how COOL this is. Our local park has on outdoor Velodrome, a special curved oval track used for speed biking races, and an outdoor running path that the kids get to participate on. It’s a 1 mile bike (2 loops around the track) and a 0.25 mile run (1 loop of the running path).
After asking her if she wanted to try it out for fun, she thought for a second and then gave an enthusiastic YES!
There is no pressure on her, in fact all of the pressure is on ME!
I’m the one who coaches people through races, I’m the one who takes on big races myself, I’m the one who’s setting the standard when it comes to physical challenge as crucible for character growth.
Here’s how I’m thinking of this race for her and how I think we can all approach new adventures in sport properly.
Why it matters
To me, the result of the race means little.
I simply want her to enjoy, respect, and appreciate the experience.
I want her to see that the things I care about deeply are deeply important.
I want her to experience what I experience on long runs, pushing myself hard, and how competition brings us excitement, fear, and the ability to harness energy for a grand play towards excellence.
I want her to understand a little bit of the process.
I want her to enjoy going FAST and not having anyone tell her to slow down.
I want her to feel what it’s like to hurt and to find resolve NOT TO QUIT (more on this tomorrow)
I don’t want her to feel like her time matters.
I don’t want her to run out of gas and feel like a failure.
I don’t want her to think racing isn’t fun if you aren’t winning.
I don’t want her to believe that winning doesn’t matter at all either.
I remember her first stint in sports, learning to skate in our little country village back in Ontario, and how at 4 years old she cared more about talking to the coaches than playing the game.
Her coach told me something I’ve kept in my mind for a long time: “Wait until she hits 7, it’s about that age that girls start develop a real desire for competition, the same way we see in the boys at age 3 and 4.”
Well, now she’s 7 and that’s why I’m so excited for her.
So the real goal is to simply be as connected to the competition as possible so she can get a real taste of what it’s like.
It’s about fun, overcoming challenge, learning about self, and becoming fearless in accepting an outcome while trying your best.
Adopt this approach
My job as coach and dad is simple, to bring the best of both worlds to her experience.
This gives me a good chance to share some wisdom with you about ‘the game’ of competition.
I read this quote this morning as I finished off the brilliant hockey book The Game by Ken Dryden.
“In understanding one game, I discovered that I understood another”
It blends perfectly with the other quote I highlighted today from the book.
“Winning brings with it such an immense momentum. Everything fits, everything works. Every new thing is made to fit and work. Everything just is. Reasons blur and disappear. It becomes a state of mind, an obligation, and expectation; in the end, an attitude. Excellence.”
When you submit yourself to the nature of competition, through an athletic contest, you get the chance to engage in a moral battle with yourself. To let the lower part of you win out, or to see if you can transcend the limits and break through towards a higher version of yourself.
The attitude that I’m giving my daughter is the same I teach my athletes and coaching clients: When you play with your heart, it’s IMPOSSIBLE TO LOSE.
I want her to care about trying hard so that she wins no matter what.
And that’s my advice to you.
When you bring your spirit to the competition, through a deep internal desire to be your best, you set up a situation where winning becomes inevitable.
It just doesn’t look like the result all the time.
For my daughter, it’s about adventure, being brave, and opening herself up to new pressures that can test her.
It’s the same for you.
Too many adults either care TOO much about the outcome of a competition or care TOO little about preparing seriously for races that too often they miss out on the true value; the character wins.
I want to encourage you to sign up for a race, like TODAY, and bring this subjective attitude with you to the start line.
I want you to highlight the elements I want or don’t want my daughter to experience and pick the most salient one for yourself. FOCUS ON THAT and go hard with your heart.
If you feel called to pull the trigger on a race, drop a line in the comments and let us all know what you’ll be competing in!
Or if you want some guidance on how to select a race, begin training for it, and to craft this subjectively aimed mindset towards it, reply to this or send me a message using the button below and I’ll help you just as I’ve helped dozens of athletes and coaching clients use external races to bring out their best characters.
Let’s keep winning together team!
Happy Training.