3 Do’s and 3 Don'ts on getting off the sidelines to play with your kids when your body is too ‘tired and sore’
Too many dads on the sidelines
I went to a kids birthday party at an indoor playground last weekend and the behaviour of 9/10 dad’s shocked me!
Rather than explore the playground and play with their kids in a physical way they all said the same ritualised lines and sat their butts on chairs to watch the action. These dads managed one half effort through this playzone and all uttered a variation of this idea “Well my body is too broken to feel good playing around so I’m done for the day!” Talk about defeatism and laziness all wrapped up into one uninspiring package.
In over 2½ hours I saw one dad take his newborn child on a manic ride through the entire structure holding the little one like an airplane and making all the right noises and facial expressions along the way; all the dad’s should have been doing something like this.
It’s my DUTY to play
My experiences were the total opposite from these dads.
I got up early and went for a 14 mile run and rushed home to shower to be able to make the party on time. My legs were beat up and sore but I still found energy and desire to go through the playground as many times as my 20 month old son or 5 year old daughter asked me to. I told them what I could and couldn’t do physically and went all in on what I could muster up.
I wasn’t close to 100% but whatever I could give I did; which made me wonder what are the other dads using as their excuse to sit play out?
Why dad’s need to be in the arena
I get it, dad’s work all week and many in my area work manual labor jobs which helps explain a lot of their behaviour.
But when has the difficulty and discomfort stopped men from doing the right thing? The history of athletics shows us the importance of dads setting the example for their children. When it comes to our role as parents, we still do an outsized amount of rough play and physical preparedness.
So if you’re a dad who is too often on the sidelines here are some quick ways to make sure you not only want to play but can manage to do so with your body in any shape.
#1 DO ENGAGE / DON’T IGNORE
Kids just want to be seen and feel important to their parents.
If you find yourself too sore, broken, or tired to give it 100% be honest with your kids. Tell them that you wished you could be in better condition today but that you’re limited. Then give your all with your intention and playful attitude.
Think of a game where you could do ¼ of the movements but still garner 100% of the excitement from your kids
#2 DO PREPARE/ DON’T NEGLECT
If you know you’re going to a physical place with your kids, actively prepare for it.
Get up a bit early and stretch or do a little light exercise to get your body in the right frame. If you think this sounds silly I’ve got a reality check for you. What’s worse, the idea of stretching to play with your kids and give them life long memories or feeling embarrassed that you need to stretch so you let your kid down by not playing with them at all?
By neglecting your preparation you signal to your kids that their time with you isn’t important enough to actively plan for.
#3 DO STRUGGLE/ DON’T COMPLAIN
Here’s a tough question to answer if your priorities aren’t properly aligned; should a child suffer in order to make the parent comfortable?
When you tell your kid that you’re too sore to play you’re telling them that sacrificing for their happiness isn’t worth it. I get it, you sacrifice in lots of others ways and I commend you for it. But your kid will only remember the times you got down on the floor and played fully with them and all the times you told them you were ‘too sore’ to show you cared with actions.
Even if it’s only for 30 minutes, give in to your sore muscles and joints and just focus on the smiles, laughter, and love that radiate out of your kids.
TAKEAWAY
The point isn’t to come down hard on dad’s but to lift them up instead.
It makes a huge difference to your kid if you can muster up 25% effort instead of 0. What should happen is wanting to be better for them and taking responsibility for your health and fitness. Leading your family comes with setting an example on healthy and active living.
If you changed your priorities to focus on your ability to play hard with your kids you’d be amazed how much energy and vigour your body has left.